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Archive for Love

Can We End Global Loneliness One Knock at a Time?

There was a program re-introduced at a Canadian university where people are supporting each other by knocking on dorm doors and checking to see if the students are okay.

It is that time of year again when too many students are feeling overwhelmed and pressured by life circumstances and this causes individuals to isolate themselves, withdraw from society and more worrisome; harm themselves or consider taking their own lives.

Loneliness  in youth isn’t new, in fact it is more prevalent than we would think. We aren’t meant to go through life alone. Although we live in a time when we are unrestrained by cultural and economic limitations, people seem less happy, disconnected and more lonely than ever which begs the question; “What is going on?”

I know the feelings of loneliness. A few years ago I decided to explore this in more depth and in doing so, realized that although I had reached a certain level of financial success, there was a huge part of me that wasn’t fulfilled on a personal level. That sent me on a personal quest; I have done the research and there are strategies you can use to feel more connected.

Here are the three elements I found to combat loneliness.

  1. Have a purpose that is larger than you. This purpose provides you with a focus that will always guide you as you share who you with the world. And, by looking outside of yourself you will connect with others.
  2. Get in touch with the concept of love again, in particular the concept of self-love. Love is one of the biggest fears we have and not loving ourselves tops the chart. Look for what is right with you over what is wrong, will help you build self-esteem and confidence which is a great way to start to love yourself.
  3. Use your self-love to create environments around you that attract supportive people to you. When you love yourself, you become energized and active which will attract other energized and active people to you.

This is why the knock on door campaign is a great way to check in on each other to ensure students are not in emotional distress. Knowing someone cares can be the connection that a person needs who is feeling low. And, it could be the first step to them understanding that they have a purpose, are appreciated and are loved.

If you would like to learn more about strengthening your relationship with yourself and others, pick up your copy Ending Global Loneliness; Finding Purpose, Love and Dynamic Relationships here. It is packed full of tips, techniques and examples of how you can find greater connection and meaning in your life.

You can also visit us at www.endinggloballoneliness.com

Together we can end global loneliness. Share your comments and strategies you use to combat loneliness. We’d love to hear from you!

#endinggloballoneliness #love #caring

Be the Change You want to see in the World.

 

 

 

 

Everything in life involves change and when we deny change, we resist growth. Living a sedentary lifestyle is not how we were meant to live, and can cause complacency. Nothing stays the same forever; nor should we want it to. Everything has the ability to change. Humans have restricted ourselves to the benefits of change and in some cases humans have been conditioned to fear change.

Change is a constant in life and resisting doesn’t work. You cannot will yourself to stop change any more than you can will yourself to stop growing physically. Willing yourself to stay 3’5” because it was your comfort zone isn’t possible, yet we often try to restrict our emotional and conscious growth. Some things can’t be control and it can be liberating when we stop trying to. What could happen if we stopped trying to resist emotional and conscious growth? If we can’t stop our physical self from changing, why do we think we can stop our emotional and conscious selves from growing and evolving? There is no benefit when we deny ourselves from the experiences that will enrich our lives emotionally and consciously.

Life’s experiences are meant to be fun and are meant to help us grow emotionally and consciously. They are meant to challenge us as we enthusiastically move through life, for without experiencing life, we stagnate. We can all become courageous and reach beyond our comfort zones as we take affirmative action as we change. When you stop changing you retire from life—do it long enough and you can feel yourself decline over time.  Ask yourself how do you want to experience life. Being consciously aware means you feel and are present as you experience life.  Do you want to experience an easy life or do you want to experience meaning? Read More→

The Power of Love

Do we discount the power of love in our relationships?

 

 

 

Love is as important to our psyche as food and water are to our bodies. If this is so, then why are men and women still struggling to get love right? Endless studies have been conducted on the topic of love, but how to love freely still eludes us. What link are we missing in understanding the power of love and why it is so important in our lives?

A major component of our personality is derived from our sexuality. Sharing needs of feeling loved and of feeling significant is a part of experiencing love. The differences in our male and female sexuality was created by nature in a way that was designed to complement each other, to keep things fun and interesting. It’s the differences between the sexes that make us appealing to the other. Instead of celebrating our differences, we keep them under wraps, often criticizing over embracing them.

Assimilating our sexes strips our sexuality from us. When we try to make the opposite sex be more like us, it neutralizes our sexual attraction instead of complementing our natural state of masculine or feminine energy.

If we all behaved like men or women, how long would it take before we are all bored with one another emotionally, intellectually, physically and sexually? Lack of understanding our natural attributes contribute to why we are getting love so wrong. Men and women are lonely, we are yearning for each other, so there is no better time than now to figure this out.

Some of our needs and wants register at the biological level, they are not controlled by our minds, love being one. Love is sourced in our hearts, it is a feeling, not a thought. Thinking about a feeling can leave us confused, especially when we over intellectualize.  How are men and women supposed to get love right if we aren’t versed in our basic love needs, where love is sourced for us, or the patterns of how we communicate with one another?

It is easy is to fall into the trap of focusing on how others impact us, while we neglect to look at how we impact those around us. Too often, when people share stories that involve their spouses, the conversation defaults to how disappointed one is by the other. Treating our relationships with a big dose of negativity can’t be inspiring for anyone. It helps to check in with yourself periodically to see if you are treating your relationship in a negative manner. Looking for what is right with each other instead of focusing on the negative contributes to a more loving world around us.

A short self-test can help you discern how you view both sexes. Create a list of 10 things you admire about men; then list 10 things about women that you absolutely adore. If the list is not easy to create, what can you do to expand your appreciation of both sexes?

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The Purpose of Addiction

Addiction is a form of personal management that numbs an individual’s emotional discomfort. Addictions serve a purpose; they medicate emotions. On the most part, addictions are usually developed when a person is unable to heal from some form of pain and suffering. It is usually people who have experienced a traumatic event who turn to addiction as a means of taking unpleasant feelings away. Unfortunately, when addictions numb out the feelings that make us feel bad, they also block out the feelings that make us feel good, including feelings of love.

Love is sorely missed in this world; it’s the lack of love that creates a sense of separation in us from the rest of the world. With the level of pain and suffering we are witnessing in North America today, is it any wonder that so many people are medicating and choosing addiction as a way to cope with their emotional pain?

Addictions are a ‘not so healthy’ way of coping where the individual numbs out their emotions with compulsive behavior or by altering their mood through chemical use such as drugs, alcohol, or both.

There are better ways than addiction to cope. Going for walks, spending time in nature, making art, writing, drawing, carpentry work, spending time with loved ones are all forms of creative expression, are good for us, and are a more positive way to express our feelings.

More and more people are recognizing the power of our emotional well-being. The goal of overcoming addictions is to be able to feel our feelings again; to feel feelings that were too painful to acknowledge in the past, and to make room for emotions that leave us feeling more positive in the present and future. I am not referring to getting over a feeling, but the ability to feel the feeling, release it, and move forward; of being able to enjoy your life while experiencing your emotions. To flow with your emotions, to let them come, stay with you and leave when you no longer feel it. It is how you manage your energy and your emotional states, including love. Love is inside of us waiting for us to bring it to life again. It is often by denying ourselves the feeling of love and connection that throws our energy into addictive patterns and that can have a negative spiraling effect on us.

In Power versus Force, Dr. David Hawkins wrote about conscious states of being. It’s the lower states of consciousness that we are trying to avoid with addiction. Based on his findings, I place addictions right in the middle on the scale of: Shame, guilt, fear, anger, addiction, awareness, love, consciousness and enlightenment. The same scale can be applied to our emotions.

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