Archive for Inner Wisdom

Control ~ The Unspoken Addiction






We live in a rapidly changing world and change is scary for many people. In order to maintain our sanity, our lifestyle can become dependent on the situation around us not changing at a rate faster than we can handle. Without being aware, people can compulsively control so the situation doesn’t get out of hand on them. By definition, control happens when a person tries to dictate the outcome of a situation or the behavior of another.

This isn’t about judgement or criticism of self or others, it is about letting go of the need to control. Often when people around us attempt to change, it can set our own insecurities into overdrive and controlling the person who is attempting to change seems like the path of least resistance, but controlling comes at a cost.

Control holds everyone back, even the person doing the controlling because they are no longer focused on what they want, they are focused on managing another. Controlling is a restrictive practice, it is suppressive in nature, isolating and dull’s everyone’s ability to shine. Control kills the magic in life.

If the controlling behavior continues, it can make the person being controlled want to zone out from life and can cause stress, strife, fear, shame, guilt, mistrust and unease to the person who is being controlled.

It takes time and energy to be in control all the time, in fact it can be quite exhausting.  Besides, we cannot be open to receiving new experiences if we have our head down in an attempt to stay in control. Luckily control is a learned behavior, so we can unlearn it if we choose.

By viewing change as an incredible opportunity for growth, it doesn’t have to hold anyone back, including you. Goal setting has a different tone than controlling. Setting goals is inspired by the desire for a great outcome. Set goals for yourself based on what you want to happen so you stay on your own path and if others attempt to hold you back, gently bring up the topic of control. Letting go of control is quite liberating.

If you are unsure whether control plays a role in your life, ask yourself the following questions.

If you weren’t controlling

  • What would you be doing differently now?
  • What would you do that you aren’t letting yourself do now?
  • Where would you go?
  • What would you say?
  • What would you want to experience in life if you didn’t have to control?
  • What type of people would you surround yourself with if you weren’t worried about being in control?
  • Are you holding yourself back hoping that self-denial would influence a particular situation or another person’s behavior?
  • Is there anyone you need to start saying ‘no’ to so you can relinquish control? With whom and why?
  • Would you be setting boundaries, and if so, with whom?
  • How would you think, feel, speak and behave differently than you do now if you didn’t feel the need to control?

Life is so much sweeter when we can enjoy it without fear of having to be in control.

If you are unsure how to stop controlling, start by giving yourself permission to not be in charge. If situations fall into chaos to awaken other to the reality, let it happen, after all, it is not yours to control, and always remember

You can love someone, you can control someone, you can even love to control someone, but you can’t have both!

To learn more about being the change you want to see in the world, visit us at

Live Large!

#endinggloballoneliness #respect #love #bethechange

 Four Things You Can Do to Prevent Feeling Lonely this January

Where I live, January traditionally is the most depressing time of the year and although there are plenty of opportunities to get out and do things to help get over the hump of feeling lonely or isolated, sometimes a more profound solution can be found closer to home. When people ask me how they can overcome feelings of loneliness, I suggest they turn to their inner guidance, their inner voice for answers. So if you haven’t tried it yet, do the unexpected. When experiencing any feelings of loneliness, just sit with the feeling and do nothing. That’s right; do nothing except get quiet, become aware and listen to yourself as you pay closer attention to what your inner voice is telling you.

As crazy as it sounds, if you haven’t checked in with yourself lately, try it.You may unearth a ton of information that you may not have been previously aware. You can get in touch with yourself a variety of ways. Here are my top four.

  1. Plan for your future in a way that you want to live it. Get excited about your future prospects. If you could live your life in the most fulfilling way, what would it look like? What do you want to experience in your life? Prepare a list of a minimum of three things. I’m not talking about acquiring nice jewelry or the fancy car that can amuse us temporarily; those are nice to have, but don’t give us a lot of meaning. I’m referring to what it is that inspires you. Feelings of loneliness can be brought on because of lack of feeling needed or fulfilled. As you create your list, don’t forget to include living your life with purpose. When you are driven by a desire to achieve what inspires you (your passion or your purpose), you become connected to your cause and more deeply to yourself. Is there a person who comes to mind that is doing something inspirational in the world that you admire? What inspires you? It feels good to make a difference in the world. Not having a purpose or cause can leave a person feeling in limbo and out of sync if they don’t feel inspired. Make this the year you ask yourself what you truly want. What have you got to lose? Having an idea of what you want your future to look like is a great first step in getting you where you want to be. You can take it a step further by asking; “How may I be of service to others.” Write it down so you can refer back to it periodically. If it is a life partner you are looking for, don’t be so focused on who they are. Instead envision what you will be doing when that person arrives. What will attract them to you? Besides, if you are counting on that person to bring you happiness, your union is doomed to fail; happiness comes from within.
  2. Take an inventory of your life as it is now. This is a simple self-awareness exercise to do. Look back at what you did in the last 12 months. Write down what worked for you and what did not. By separating out the various areas of your life, it makes it easier to recap how you spend your time. How much time did you spend with others and how much time did you take for yourself? What did you enjoy doing? Rate your overall feelings in categories of physical well-being, career, hobbies and interests, financial, relationships with yourself and others. How did the last 12 months measure up for you? What excited you and made you happy? Are you planning on doing anything differently in 2017? By outlining what makes you happy and by categorizing it in chunks of time, you can clearly see how your days, weeks and months were spent and with whom. What didn’t work for you? If something isn’t working for you anymore, can you remove it from your life or at least reduce the amount of time you spend doing what it is that you don’t like? (This could also apply to a person).
  3. Listen with your awareness. There are many ways we can experience loneliness, and feeling disconnected from ourselves is one of them. We can’t feel deeply connected to those around us if we aren’t feeling what is happening in our inner world. How does your body feel right now? Are you holding tension, feeling constricted or do you have a feeling of tightness anywhere in your body? Take a deep breath in and as you exhale, notice how your body feels to you. Repeat this a couple of times if it feels right. Is there something your body is telling you that you weren’t aware of? Listen to yourself without judgement—perhaps an idea comes to mind that gives you a fresh perspective on an issue you are facing. You are your most trusted advisor, and by listening to yourself, you are connecting with your inner self and when you do this on a richer, deeper level, you are never alone.
  4. Change your perspective to that of positivity. Being aware that you want your life to change is huge. With that awareness, you can change your vibe. What chores or mundane jobs are required of you that you don’t like to do? When you change your focus to what benefit you receive by doing a particular job or chore, it can turn the experience from a negative to a positive and positive people are infectious to be around. Is there a silver lining or a perspective that can be positively reflected upon with regard to your less than favorite chores? I personally don’t care to do housework, but I like how my house looks, smells and feels when it is clean, so I focus on how I will feel in my clean my house after I spend some time tidying up.

As more people are awakening to the fact that happiness comes from within, they realize it is our own completedness that we are meant to experience and share. When you like who you are and what you are doing in your life, everything changes including the energetic vibe you give off. When you like who you are, you are never alone. To get to like yourself, you need to know yourself. It all lies within.

Commit to the relationship you have with yourself this winter. When was the last time you spent 10 minutes sitting quietly and simply listening to your inner voice and your body? Do the unconventional and spend some time with yourself and reflect inward to what you want to do and to experience later in the year and beyond. Let your imagination be your guide as you plan out your future. Use your heart as your inspiration and know that sunny days are ahead.

If you would like to reflect even more deeply this year, pick up your copy of Ending Global Loneliness; Finding Purpose, Love and Dynamic Relationships. It is filled with tips, tools and techniques that you can use to feel more connected on the inside, and to live a more fulfilling life. Take the time to reacquaint yourself with yourself and make 2017 the year you get to know what really matters to you. Get your copy at amazon today.

Wayne Dyer has said; ~You are never alone when you like the person you are with ~ so be that person. It will change your life.


To learn more about ending global loneliness, visit

#harmony #selflove #endinggloballoneliness

Re-Purpose Your Life

The New Year brings about a wonderful opportunity to re-evaluate, re-purpose and re-establish what you want in your life. Out with the Old and In with the New provides us an inspiring message of hope and change. If change has been uncomfortable in the past, it can be scary to contemplate as we move forward into our future. For many of us, we have not been conditioned for change and without training, it is hard to do. Have we been conditioned to knuckle down and settle into life instead of revel in all that life has to offer us? Making change your new constant is a fantastic way to increase your creative flow as you consider what you would like to experience in your future. So ask yourself; “What do I want?”

Life is not linear—life is about experiencing cycles of growth, stagnation, death and rebirth, similar to the phoenix rising from the ashes. The phoenix is the spirit of the death and the rebirth. After a year like 2016, I’m sure many people are ready for a change and for a re-birth of future possibilities. The unknown is part of life, and for us to have hope, we need mystery. To know the future, would render life predictable and mundane. Endless changes are on the horizon when we are aware of new possibilities as we embrace change and the re-birth that comes from within.

Be open to change;

  • Visualizing your future helps, it helps with living aligned with what you want. Ask yourself “what if”, and right down whatever comes to mind. Be open to what you want to experience and feel in your future. Visualization also opens up the imagination. Be inspired to co-create your future life by dreaming about what you want to experience.
  • Commit your vision to paper; create a plan for yourself. What do you want your life to look like one year and five years from now? There are no guarantees in life, but with a plan you have a better chance of having the life you want providing you have included your life purpose in the planning. Creating this plan from the perspective of what you want to experience in your life over what you want to acquire allows you to embody the future experiences. If you could re-create your life, what would you be doing differently?
  • Look for like-minded people to see what they are doing to live their dreams. Observe what it is that they do so you can pick up some free lessons. Learn from them as you create the life that inspires you.
  • Get enthusiastic about life again. Take an inventory of what skills have you acquired so far that you can take into your future as you re-purpose your life.
  • Trust Yourself. Each of us has had different life experiences so far. Not everyone has the depth of experiences to draw on that you do—it is why it is important to trust yourself as only you can bring the lessons learned from those experiences forward. In doing so, it allows others to benefit from your knowledge.

Know that if you want things to change, you have to believe they can happen. Download the 1st chapter “Why We Are Here—Connecting with our Purpose in Life” of Ending Global Loneliness; Finding Purpose, Love and Dynamic Relationships. It’s full of tips and perspective on how to find your purpose in life and how to go about living it.  Get a jump start on 2017 as you put the spark back into your life.

Let the old go as you build a life you love, by living your life with purpose.

Live Inspired!

To learn more about living your life with purpose visit

#purpose #harmony #change #trustyourself

Empowering your self to be an amazing person

I don’t know about anyone else, but I love self-tests; they feed my inquisitive soul. I’m always amazed by what I can learn about myself simply by paying attention to my inner voice. It empowers me to want to be the best person I  can be. Integrity is another word that comes to mind. Empowering your self to be amazing isn’t as hard to do as one might think. There are questions you may ask yourself that can help you discern if you are a operating at your highest degree of integrity or not, namely:                                                                                                                                                       dreamstime_m_22013478

Which commendable values do I identify with?

What are the values that resonate with my inner voice?

Are they respect, integrity, kindness, honoring your word? Or perhaps believing in justice, including social justice, in protecting the less fortunate in life, compassion or humility are values that are more harmonious for you. The list of commendable values is endless as there are many to choose from.

When you know which core values ring true in your heart, you can then ask yourself if your thoughts, feelings, beliefs and behaviors are consistent to what you value.  When you achieve this, you are acting in integrity.
Integrity is an integral part of who we are. Integrity is important because it keeps us aligned with who we think we are and helps us remain accountable to our self.
“Do you operate with integrity?” is another great question to ask yourself.
When we have integrity, it automatically increases our feeling of self-worth, because we like who we are and how we carry ourselves as we share ourselves with others.
To sum it up easily, to know if you are a good person or not, ask yourself the following three questions.

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