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Archive for Boundaries

The Five Most Effective Ways to Build Trust in Yourself

 

 

 

 

 

Albert Einstein has been attributed as saying; “You can’t solve a problem with the same thinking that created it.” Re-training how we thick can be done with a new game plan.

How to do we know we are making the right choices for us? We are internally wise. Often we look to outside sources when we should be looking  to ourselves for the answers we seek. A big part of building inner trust is to learn how to trust our instincts. Trusting our instincts is huge when determining what is in our best interest. So how can we trust ourselves to find new solutions to old situations we want to have change?

Here are 5 ways to build trust in your own inner voice:

  1. Identify what it is that is giving you cause for concern at this time. What would you like to stop, change or enhance in your life? Ask yourself the question, then let it go and see what answers come to mind. This is a call to action to your instincts to help you identify what is concerning you.
  2. Write down the top three things you would like to experience in life. Knowing what is concerning you and what you want, allows you to create a map of where you are and where you want to go. With that in mind you can created a course of action or direction to take when exploring ways to resolve your concerns.
  3. Spend time alone. When you spend time alone it allows you to be open to hear what your inner voice is saying to you without the distraction of outside noise including other people.
  4. Listen your gut instead of your brain. This change has to be one of the most empowering shifts you can make. By listening to your gut, you can change your perspective. Our bodies know what is true for us if we allow ourselves to listen. It doesn’t mean you have to put what you know into action just yet; but learn to listen to your body to find the right answer. By practicing trusting your own instincts, you automatically increase your ability to learn to trust yourself more.
  5. Tune out everyone else. Too often we are concerned about what others will think of us or what we should do and it makes it hard to be honest with ourselves, so much so, that we hold back out fear of ridicule or reprisal. Make your decisions based on what you want. Of course this doesn’t mean you carelessly abandon responsibilities, it simply reminds you that what you want is important too.

Can you think of a time when you didn’t trust your instincts and it didn’t turn out for you? Remember how that made you feel? Use that memory as a catalyst to encourage you to trust yourself over others in the future.

As the saying goes, “We don’t know what we don’t know.” Be open to looking for different ways to find solutions to concerns you have. You can find more ways to get in touch with your instincts in Ending Global Loneliness; Finding Purpose, Love and Dynamic Relationships. or visit our website at www.endinggloballoneliness.com.

If you have made a bad decision because you didn’t trust yourself, please share your story in the comments below.

If you would like to rate your ability to trust yourself, rate your ability between 1-10 to see how well you are willing you are to trust your instincts to guide you.

Trusting yourself is the new age way of moving ahead in life. Get on board as more people are re-learning how to trust them self.

 

#endinggloballoneliness #change #trustyourself

Integrity: What It Is, Why We Need It and How to Lead with It.

 

 

 

With so much information coming to light regarding unethical behavior, corruption and abuse of power, integrity is needed now more than ever. There are some values that help us stay aligned with what is important to us and integrity is one that is worthy of review.

It is a great time to get reacquainted with our own value system and inner compass so we can be aligned with our integrity. (Although integrity is considered predominantly a masculine trait, both men and women are capable of operating from a place of integrity). For the purpose of this blog, I will apply integrity to men.

Integrity is what makes a man trustworthy and makes people want to follow his lead.

 Men of integrity tend to be:

·         Men who know who they are and what they stand for.

·         Men who have a purpose in life that is bigger than they are.

·         Men who wear their values like a code of honor—their word matters to them.

·         Men who protect the vulnerable and less fortunate in society.

·         Men who stand up for truth.

·         Men who have an aura of inner strength about them—observable in the way the carry themselves in their day-to-day activities.

·         Men who lead by example and make excellent role models and mentors for younger men.

Younger generations deserve to have great role models and mentors to show them how to live with integrity. If we get the momentum going, integrity is an art that they can pass on too.

I love the leading phrase in the article; 10 Ways to be a Man of Integrity “Character is what you do when no one else is looking.” It captures the picture of integrity splendidly, but knowing and doing is often easier said than done. This point is well illustrated in The Art of Manliness. It provides questions for men to use for self-discovery about choices they are presented with in life. Some might consider this site to be dated, as it provides many opportunities to reminisce about what hobbies, interests and behaviors have inspired men in the past.

The Good Men Project has a growing readership and also offers great insight to help men reacquaint with integrity and other issues that affect men.

These articles support the need for and the value of integrity. By living in integrity you are presenting the best version of yourself, being a role model for others and enhancing the relationships you have.

If you would like a personal road map to increase your degree of integrity and enhance your own intimate relationship, pick up your copy of Ending Global Loneliness; Finding Purpose, Love and Dynamic Relationships It is full of tips, techniques and insights that will inspire you to be the best version of yourself that you can be or visit us at www.endinggloballoneliness.com for more tips on how to align with your own integrity.

If you are inspired, share this blog with others that you know are looking to redefine their masculine presence in the world and live in integrity.

I hope your week is full of love, connection and integrity!

Be the Change You Want to See in the World~Be the One!

 

Sandy

#endinggloballoneliness #integrity #worldpeace

Control ~ The Unspoken Addiction

 

 

 

 

 

We live in a rapidly changing world and change is scary for many people. In order to maintain our sanity, our lifestyle can become dependent on the situation around us not changing at a rate faster than we can handle. Without being aware, people can compulsively control so the situation doesn’t get out of hand on them. By definition, control happens when a person tries to dictate the outcome of a situation or the behavior of another.

This isn’t about judgement or criticism of self or others, it is about letting go of the need to control. Often when people around us attempt to change, it can set our own insecurities into overdrive and controlling the person who is attempting to change seems like the path of least resistance, but controlling comes at a cost.

Control holds everyone back, even the person doing the controlling because they are no longer focused on what they want, they are focused on managing another. Controlling is a restrictive practice, it is suppressive in nature, isolating and dull’s everyone’s ability to shine. Control kills the magic in life.

If the controlling behavior continues, it can make the person being controlled want to zone out from life and can cause stress, strife, fear, shame, guilt, mistrust and unease to the person who is being controlled.

It takes time and energy to be in control all the time, in fact it can be quite exhausting.  Besides, we cannot be open to receiving new experiences if we have our head down in an attempt to stay in control. Luckily control is a learned behavior, so we can unlearn it if we choose.

By viewing change as an incredible opportunity for growth, it doesn’t have to hold anyone back, including you. Goal setting has a different tone than controlling. Setting goals is inspired by the desire for a great outcome. Set goals for yourself based on what you want to happen so you stay on your own path and if others attempt to hold you back, gently bring up the topic of control. Letting go of control is quite liberating.

If you are unsure whether control plays a role in your life, ask yourself the following questions.

If you weren’t controlling

  • What would you be doing differently now?
  • What would you do that you aren’t letting yourself do now?
  • Where would you go?
  • What would you say?
  • What would you want to experience in life if you didn’t have to control?
  • What type of people would you surround yourself with if you weren’t worried about being in control?
  • Are you holding yourself back hoping that self-denial would influence a particular situation or another person’s behavior?
  • Is there anyone you need to start saying ‘no’ to so you can relinquish control? With whom and why?
  • Would you be setting boundaries, and if so, with whom?
  • How would you think, feel, speak and behave differently than you do now if you didn’t feel the need to control?

Life is so much sweeter when we can enjoy it without fear of having to be in control.

If you are unsure how to stop controlling, start by giving yourself permission to not be in charge. If situations fall into chaos to awaken other to the reality, let it happen, after all, it is not yours to control, and always remember

You can love someone, you can control someone, you can even love to control someone, but you can’t have both!

To learn more about being the change you want to see in the world, visit us at www.endinggloballoneliness.com

Live Large!

#endinggloballoneliness #respect #love #bethechange

Honour your Boundaries

dreamstime_m_25752764There is a reason to honour our boundaries; our boundaries have our backs. By their very nature, they are here to protect us.

There is an energetic shift that is happening around the world. People are making changes as they are awakening to their true potential. They are exploring who they are and what they are here to do. This can make the people who are reluctant to make the changes, uncomfortable. Often this is when poor boundaries come to light.

Too often, when we are more than willing to change, because of others insecurities; they want to hold us back.

People have been conditioned to not like change. For some, it can be scary, confusing, and extremely uncomfortable to change. But when we aren’t changing, we aren’t growing. When we aren’t growing we can get stuck in old patterns and ways of doing things that no longer serve us; stuck doesn’t have a nice ring to it, does it?

I used to think that statements like this were harsh, then I realized every relationship we have, with the exception of the relationship we have with ourselves, involves another person. If the boundaries that are used between two people aren’t healthy, then all kinds of games and controlling behaviors can set in.

Know it’s okay to walk your own path—you don’t need permission to be who you are or to live your dreams as long as they don’t come at the expense of another.

Knowing our true human nature requires we know the natural intelligence’s of the universe. One of those natural intelligence’s is that nature abhors vacuums. If someone is holding you back either physically, emotionally or on a psychic level, know it’s okay to remove yourself from their company and allow good things to take their place.

Besides, by creating distance, you give the other person a chance to modify their behavior. This distance allows them the opportunity to create their own vacuum to fill, which can inspire them to make their own changes, if they feel it is warranted. The rule to remember here is that whatever one does, should not come at the expense of another.  Will the changes you want to make benefit society or people in some way? Does it include helping others and being of service? Asking yourself these questions can help align your intentions with your drive and is a winning strategy and a great way to propel you towards living your dreams.

Why not try it? Go for what you dream about, honour your boundaries if you need to, and create a vacuum by removing people who are not happy for you from your space. It is very liberating to do so. It isn’t cruel, it means you are respecting them enough to give them the space to find what will truly make them happy. If a persons energy is about trying to slow another down, it could be an indication that they are not happy with themselves.

Honour your boundaries and honour yourself. Set the bar so others can do the same for themselves.

I would love to hear your comments, so leave one below, or if you prefer, email me at sandy@endinggloballoneliness.com and share your stories about how you effectively set and held boundaries when you needed to. Let’s be the change the world needs.

Read more about the function of boundaries at www.endinggloballoneliness.com

#empowering #boundaries #respect #change #endinggloballoneliness