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From Self-Doubt to Self-Esteem-When Love shines outwardly.

Am I enough?    

Landscape image of early morning light and mist.

When we want to make changes in our life, self-realization and awareness become part of the process. People rarely make major changes without it being a conscious decision. When we make changes, we need to understand the place we are at now because without getting a sense of where you are at in your life, you can’t identify with your new starting off point or your progress.

Loving and appreciating all of your good qualities can be hard enough, and if you aren’t used to doing it, it can feel uncomfortable; even selfish at first. But with a little practice, some perseverance and with your commitment you can lean towards self-love and self-esteem easily.

Fear comes in many forms, and it’s often fear of the unknown that will enter into our thoughts and hold us back. We forget that fear is a normal part of life, and because we don’t explore the role of fear, we don’t give fear it’s due. How do we understand what we are afraid of if we aren’t even sure of the purpose of fear? By recognizing fear for what it is, we can remember why we were given the emotion of fear in the first place. Fear is designed to protect us, it’s a defense mechanism designed to steer us away from physical and/or psychological danger. Often it’s our memory of past events that guides our choices and fear can make it difficult to discern whether a particular threat is perceived or real. It’s by being aware of fear if it comes into our lives and by examining what it is telling us; that we can be one with that emotion, so we can understand what it’s telling us, then release it.

It’s by acknowledging the nature of fear and the feeling it leaves in us that goes a long way in understanding how it affects us as we go about making changes in life. Often it’s fear of not being enough that keeps us from esteeming ourselves appropriately.

For self-esteem to register within us, we have to do more than recite the words, “I have self-esteem.”  We have to believe it to be true, to know and feel it’s real to be able to love ourselves from within. How do you do that if most of your life you have carried self-doubt with you, or fear that you are not enough?

Most of us came from families who struggled with their own self-esteem and lack of self-love issues which we carry forward with us as that identity becomes part of who we believe we are, that is until we decide that low self-esteem doesn’t serve us anymore. Recognizing low self-esteem is often the catalyst that takes our awareness inward, so we can clear out any negative beliefs we have of our self and to start to esteem ourselves properly from within.

This isn’t about criticizing our past; it’s about recognizing sources of low self-esteem that we may carry around with us now. If we can clean out the old messaging that we are not good enough, we can make room for new beliefs that reflect the true nature and the good qualities about us.  Get rid of the old messaging that says you are not good enough, because if you are making changes in your life, you don’t have room for that nonsensical negative self-talk now.

To have appropriate levels of self-esteem means we are encouraged from within and provides us with genuine confidence as we step into new challenges and personal growth moving forward. When we esteem ourselves from within, we can radiate that feeling outward as self-love and attract love back to us, making the world around us a warm and inviting place to be. Self-esteem has a powerful influence over us and our surroundings, and it deserves our attention.

In Ending Global Loneliness, I share what I unearthed about our deep human nature when I explored the personal power locked within our self-esteem.

Self-Esteem

Low self-esteem is an all too common feeling for too many people in our

society. As we start to question who we are, we have to understand our own

levels of self-esteem. But in order to bring our internal awareness to the

surface, we needed to see ourselves in our true light. Having low self-esteem

can block us from seeing the truth and the beauty of who we are.

Some of us have survived the most difficult times any of us will have

ever had to go through. Those experiences influence who we are today and

how we view ourselves. It’s our interactions with others, both the positive and the

negative, that often helped shape our self-esteem.

As we grow individuals and events have a greater impact on us and we are more susceptible

to what affects us than when we are fully mature. All too often individuals

weren’t taught how to esteem themselves appropriately as children, and

because of that, it makes it hard for them to know how to esteem themselves

appropriately in their adult lives. Some individuals learned as children that

they were less valuable than others resulting in them growing to believe that

they weren’t entitled to what others might have assumed were normal rights,

needs, and wants in life. Others may have been over esteemed resulting in

them feeling more valuable than or more entitled than others. Regardless if

a person under or over esteems themselves, it creates problems for them in

their current lives because it keeps them from being able to show up with a

true sense of who they are and it holds them back from having deep, intimate

relationships with others. Instead, they either block themselves by feeling

superior to others or by feeling others look down on them and/or by looking

down on themselves, or at times switching between the two depending on

who they are interacting with.

Regardless of where you are on the spectrum of self-esteem, we should

all be patient with ourselves as we find our way through understanding who

we are.

Sometimes a consequence of low self-esteem is that we self-sabotage

because we truly feel we are not deserving of love or the things we want to

achieve in life. By understanding and purging any negative beliefs we have

within ourselves, we open ourselves up to being able to esteem ourselves

properly. When we stop self-sabotaging we can let others know us for

who we truly are.

If you are having difficulty seeing yourself as valuable, try the following

exercise…

Learn more about how you can identify your true gifts and natural talents in Ending Global Loneliness; Finding Purpose, Love and Dynamic Relationships.

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